Celebrating THINKERS, not KNOWERS (For Families and Teachers)

"Great job on that test."

"Jo is just perfect."

"You are so smart."

I used to say things like this with the best of intentions. I was building the kids self esteem, right?

When I first learned that saying these types of things to our young thinkers was wrong, it made me take a step back.  Why not?

The problem comes into play when students begin to think they need to know everything.   I tried to be careful of this when I was teaching by saying these types of things instead...

"Wow, you've learned a lot since the pretest."

"Jo you just made the best choice."

"You worked so hard studying that new material."

I wasn't always perfect, but I did try... at school anyway.  I felt pretty successful too.  

Until my four year old Little E said "Mama I am such a Knower."

Uh-oh.  While that good advice had translated over into teaching... It didn't make it to my  parenting skills.  I did tell Little E what a SMART boy he was he was ALL THE TIME!  

And what I created was a little monster.  He now thinks he KNOWS everything.  And what's worse than that he melts down when he doesn't KNOW something.  I'm starting to reverse this little monster thinking because it's not healthy for him.  

So just this morning a few minutes ago, I said "You're my good little thinker." 

He smiled his gapped tooth 6 year old grin and said,  "I know."  

He likes being a little thinker just as much as he likes being a knower. :)